Rumors that Becky Quick is pregnant and John McCain is senile are unfounded
Posted by cnbcsucks on July 5, 2008
John McCain
First off, congratulations to Venus Williams for winning her fifth Wimbledon singles title. Venus beat her sister Serena Williams 7-5, 6-4 today. Was Hank Kuehne watching?
Second, what wild news that Andrea Jaeger (Sister Andrea Jaeger now) admitted to purposely losing to Martina Navratilova in the 1983 Wimbledon singles final. It had something to do with Jaeger’s tiff with her father before the match. Andrea Jaeger became a nun in September 2006.
Third, condolences to Terrence Kiel’s family for the former San Diego Chargers safety’s fatal car crash late last night. Terrence Kiel was 27-years-old.
Fourth, a belated Happy Fourth of July to UFC 86 (click here), Bunny Lake, the Book of Enoch, Mary Carillo, John McEnroe, Patrick McEnroe, Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal, Carol Lynley, Eddie and the Cruisers, Josh Sneed, and all of you. I hope you are all having a great weekend.
Now, responding to search engine terms that I have been receiving recently, I just wanted to set the record straight on a few things. The last thing that I want to be accused of is bad journalism. The spreading of unfounded rumors is against the policy of this blog, so let me break down what we don’t know and what we do know.
What we don’t know (unfounded rumor):
- CNBC resident idiot Dennis Kneale’s colleague Becky Quick is pregnant (there, I mentioned him)
- Becky Quick is pregnant by 437-year-old Warren Buffett (Buffet to you misspellers)
- Becky Quick is pregnant by T. Boone Pickens (go wind power!)
- Becky Quick is pregnant by Warren Buffett or T. Boone Pickens and she doesn’t know who it is for sure
- John McCain is senile (see photo above)
- John McCain has Alzheimer’s disease
- John McCain is depriving Americans of 200 years worth of hidden oil reserves at Gull Island
What we do know:
- Becky Quick kisses up a little too much to Warren Buffett for my comfort
- Becky Quick is the hottest flat-chested chick of all time, but her bad hair day on Monday allowed Amanda Drury to zip past her in the Real-Time CNBC Babe Rankings and steal CNBC Honey of the Month for June 2008
- A John McCain look-alike starred in an Aricept Alzheimer’s medicine commercial
- John McCain is almost 72 years old; in its most common form, Alzheimer’s disease afflicts individuals over 65 years old
- The great Ronald Reagan was the oldest person ever to be elected President at age 69; President Reagan may have suffered from Alzheimer’s disease in his second term
- John McCain is two years older than Ronald Reagan was when Reagan became President
- We cannot afford to have a fucking senile President in the White House
And, again, John McCain, you cannot have Alex.
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