UPDATE July 22, 2008 – Real-Time CNBC Babe Rankings (Special Feministing Edition)
Posted by cnbcsucks on July 22, 2008
Some black beefcake for you
Hey, welcome to LLCNBCS…Ladies Love CNBC Sucks, kinda like LL Cool J (left; compensatory male reverse objectification in the form of beefcake for the ladies), but with better recent movie roles. I have been enjoying a new relationship with Feministing (and some nighttime page views for a change), so I have updated the Real-Time CNBC Babe Rankings based on qualifications, credentials, and perceived journalistic or business capabilities, as opposed to looks, hair, or CNBC Bra Sizes. Yeah, I most certainly did still make a boob-obsession misogynist or otherwise sexist comment here and there, but this Special Feministing Edition is how I would rank the CNBC women in a real workplace environment, or whom you should really see onscreen if CNBC were a legitimate financial media concern.
Below is the archive of the prior (regular non-Feministing edition) Real-Time CNBC Babe Rankings as of Monday, July 14, 2008, at 3:05 PM EDT:
1. Margaret Brennan, 9.85, a slight makeover (i.e., actual use of makeup and a hairstylist) is enough to put this slim but stacked cutie on top and inspire the Margaret Brennan Shrine I, II, III, and IV
2. Melissa Francis, 9.56, this butterface is sporting an inviting tanned cleavage today that 44% (that would be four votes thus far in the CNBC Bra Size Poll on the sidebar) of our audience thinks is coming from a 34C bust
3. Trish Regan, 9.55, this ex DE Shaw hottie is a killer, both figuratively and potentially, but may be wearing too much rouge; yet, her twin Hindenburgs can light a fire in any man
4. Becky Quick, 9.48, still looking a little awful after her momentous bad hair day, but – considering she’s a page view monster – I am not quite ready to strip her of her title as the hottest flat-chested chick of all time; and no, I don’t think that rumor is true, but did she have her eyes done or something?
5. Jane Wells, 9.47, well, it looks like our friend Jack Sparrow just might be right about MILFy Janey packing bigger rib balloons than I originally estimated; we will see in our next CNBC Bra Size Poll
6. Janet Shamlian, 9.46, just saw her on MSNBC, this “correspondent” is a pretty decent looking MILF who does a pretty good job of stretching out her bra, if not her journalistic efforts
7. Amanda Drury, 8.87 + 0.50 Residual Page View Whore Gratuitude Factor, you’ve gone back to Australia, darling, but I will always remember you for how you made my page views explode
8. Erin Burnett, 7.74, seems to be showing up for work already showered more consistently, except today
9. Michelle Caruso-Cabrera, 7.73, that you can overcome my breast obsession and still finish below the flat-chested Becky Quick and Erin Burnett is a testament to how annoying you are to me and many of my peeps; plus, I saw some pasty looking cauliflower legs the other day
10. Karen Finerman, $94 million net worth
bdg said
lowlife
Thinman said
I`m suprised to see Karen Finerman, but I`ll agree she`s kind of a hottie. The night she wore that evening dress with no bra was a show I`ll always wish I had taped. Those boobs were swinging ever so nice.
Becky…ah yes, a real sweetie. Ever notice how when the camera goes to a side view, she pushes out her chest? She knows how flat chested she is and tries to make them look bigger.
Michelle Caruso-Cabrera….A toss up whether hers are as nice a Liz Clayman.
Big Ed said
Michelle Caruso-Cabrera–100% FAKE BOOBS !!!
TinytimGIETH said
WAY late to this party but this is classic, classic sh*t.