This will be the last post that I make before a certain date that I mention somewhere on this blog. I came out of my self-imposed sabbatical from blogging because the combination of John McCain and Sarah Palin is the single biggest threat to not only this nation’s welfare, but two millennia of Western society’s effort to make democracy work. Simply put, Sarah Palin has absolutely no place among the four people who might become President of the United States during 2009. She is intellectually and ethically unsuitable to be the Vice Presidential runningmate that the erratic and dangerous John McCain failed to vet and so irresponsibly named one week ago. Community-college and tanning-booth white trash is not what Aristotle, Cicero, Thomas Aquinas, John Locke, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, John Stuart Mill, Alexander Hamilton, and James Madison had in mind when contemplating the quality of leadership that would guide the world’s shining light of democracy called America. The potential travesty and catastrophe of an America with a President Sarah Palin in the White House is not the future for which my grandfather fought and died. There will be hell to pay, guaranteed, if you give her that possibility.
America, register to vote and get it right on November 4th. Vote for Barack Obama.
And now, the ultimate, 60-day, sprint-to-the-finish, Search Engine Optimization Random Stream of Consciousness. Let my armies be the rocks and the trees and the birds in the sky, a fake Sarah Palin photo, and Internet search terms: Susan Palin, hairdo, Super Bowl, Scott Alan Richter, Erin Burnett, John Stein, Intrade, Lyda Green, Margaret Brennan, bra size, investigation, bitch, playoff, Troopergate, BCS, Irl Stambaugh, Tanya Acker, beehive, baseball, Mary Ellen Emmons, oxy, University of Virginia Cavaliers, John McCain sucks, Colorado Rockies, tin foil, Virginia Tech Hokies, meth, Cleveland Browns, methamphetamine, Denver Broncos, bust size, Papa loves you and you, Wasilla, Miami Dolphins, Sarah Palin nude, Cincinnati Bengals, bimbo, hurricane, Levi Johnston, Miami Hurricanes, Jay Ramras, Miami Dade, Hollis French, Florida State Seminoles, messy divorce, Ohio State Buckeyes, Walt Monegan, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, ethics, Halloween, ban books, get well, Christine Todd Whitman, Boston, pregnant, 91,103 at 12:30 AM EDT, 11/4, Bristol Palin, costume ideas, Todd Palin’s business partner, Mike Wooten, University of Florida Gators, affair, University of Cincinnati Bearcats, infidelity, football, sex, 2008, Sarah Palin naked, stupid, Dancing with the Stars, bullshit, MILF, scandal, Democrats play too nice, until we meet again, Republicans suck, fuck Palin, switch political parties, Republican to Democrat, Republicans for Obama, conservatives for Obama, male chauvinists for Obama, mysogynists for Obama, Sexists for Obama, Barack Obama sex video, Sarah Palin sex video, Barack Obama and Sarah Palin sex video, thanks for everything, Bill Clinton says, “I predict that will win and win pretty handily”, so everything’s gonna be alright.
[UPDATE, September 10, 2008: Yes, I am still lurking around. I have been updating the favorite search engine terms repository, making comments on Huffington Post and The Big Picture, and actually have CNBC HD+ on but muted the last two days. Without audio, CNBC HD+ is tolerable, you have nice graphics and somewhat useful information on the side. You get prohibitively expensive date Trish Regan at her flawless best and a freshly scrubbed Erin Burnett after her noontime shower. Without audio, Dennis Kneale only looks like an idiot. (There, I can recategorize this post now.) I have not been following the Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac bailouts or the continuing decline of Lehman Brothers, but I will mention them anyway for search engine optimization purposes, since I am a page view whore. However, the real question on my mind is: When did Melissa Lee start wearing glasses? This better have nothing to do with the sudden, unexpected, and vacuous popularity of Sarah Palin. Men, you do not want the end of America and Western civilization and you certainly do not want 8 years of chicks imitating Sarah Palin's fashion sense. YOU MUST VOTE FOR BARACK OBAMA.]
[UPDATE, September 11, 2008: This date will always be remembered with sadness in this country. I only hope that November 4, 2008 will not be another day of infamy, because I see a McCain-Palin administration as a potential coup de grace for a nation that is teetering on the edge of chaos. I will use 9/11 as the milestone by which I will finally, completely (not) stay away from this blog until the date that I mention above. Yesterday, Barack Obama fell behind John McCain on Intrade for the first time in months, and at this exact moment (3 PM), he continues to trail 51.6% to 47.7% in probability of winning the Presidential election, according to the trading on that prediction market site. Even Joe Biden's chances of being withdrawn as Vice Presidential candidate (ostensibly, to be replaced by Hillary Clinton) has increased to 7.9%, higher than the 6.6% for Sarah Palin, who at one time had peaked at 18.9%, thus causing a media stir just a week ago that she might be withdrawn. At this same moment, oil has been bid down to $100.47 per barrel. The forces of "business as usual" are winning, and they are relentless. This morning, I made the mistake of turning the sound up on Squawk Box to find Leonard Stern and a panel of rich men talk about how higher taxes for the rich will be bad for the poor. These people would have you believe that higher taxes are a disincentive for capitalism. Never mind that the tax rate for the top income bracket during America's post-World War II economic boom - a period of national growth and prosperity unprecedented in history - ranged from 70% to 92%. Never let the facts get in the way of a good Republican argument. In any case, I have to go for now. America, you are on your own. As I have said before, you have to do your homework, think hard about this election, get it right. Do it for yourself, do it for your children. Good bye (not) and good luck.]
[UPDATE, September 15, 2008: I was not going to write anything more here after indulging excessively in the hubbub here and here on The Big Picture, as CNBC covered Lehman Brothers' preparation for bankruptcy and the workings of Bank of America's acquisition of Merrill Lynch on a special Sunday night program. Then, the search engine term "melissa lee+ugly+cnbc" caught my eye. I must say, it looked as if Melissa Lee were out all night on Saturday and had not in the least anticipated being called into the CNBC studio on Sunday. As much as I would typically be inclined to assail Melissa's professionalism or make fun of it the way I make fun of Erin Burnett's showers, I instead took her apparent lack of physical preparation as a reminder of the atypical, uncertain times that we are all facing. LET'S NOT LOOK LIKE MELISSA LEE ON SUNDAY NIGHT. VOTE FOR BARACK OBAMA. Also, try not to do this too much or you might go blind.]
[UPDATE, September 15, 2008: Uncertainty predominates. The Dow fell 504.48 points, closing at 10,917.51. Crude oil fell $5.47 to close at $95.71 per barrel. I now partially revise my often repeated forecast: Dow 5000, oil $300 sometime in the 2010s. This scenario - and potentially worse - will happen only if John McCain wins. Based on the Democratic Party platform, I anticipate an economic recovery combined with lower oil prices with Barack Obama. Unfortunately, at this exact moment (6:45 PM EDT), according to Intrade, the probability of McCain winning is 51.3%, while that of Obama is 47.5%. With the debates still to come, many battleground states to be contested all the way to Election Day, and the impact of Obama's superior ground game unknown, the entire world seems up in the air. I still believe and hope, for all our sakes, that Barack Obama wins. We shall see. Thanks for visiting my blog, see you later.]
[UPDATE, September 18, 2008: Just adding more to the Search Engine Optimization Random Stream of Consciousness. These words are so random, I even left the commas out: McCain thinks Spain is in Latin America Palin got a "D" in microeconomics McCain thinks he can fire SEC Chairman Cox when he cannot Republican Senator Chuck Hagle says Palin is unready Sarah Palin is not just inexperienced she is a dumbshit dipstick if McCain and Palin are elected you deserve all the starvation war and misery you deserve you uneducated hypocritical Pentecostal pieces of shit..........Baptists Lutherans Methodists Roman Catholics Orthodox Catholics and Jews are wonderful and love Obama]
[UPDATE, September 19, 2008: I am around, peeps. Recently, I have been over at Barry's here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and there. As I have said before, I spend more time on his blog than I do mine. But you can find little updates to old items, so you never really know the latest. My recommendation is to click everything. Remember, even if I seem silent, you are always on my mind.]
[UPDATE, September 20, 2008: For the record, the battery died. I did figure out how to pay the national debt, though.]
[UPDATE, September 22, 2008: I love newbies. It didn't take a month for the joke to work, but I appreciate your patience, TBP peeps.]
[UPDATE, September 23, 2008: I continue to get good word-of-mouth out there. It's not quite like being mentioned on Gawker, but I appreciate all your kind words. The sad part is I write as much on Barry's blog here, here, here, here, and here, as on my own. Why do I do this? Because I can no longer watch CNBC, certainly not with the volume on, lest my anger management problem overwhelm me.]
[UPDATE, October 7, 2008: After saying "Fuck it" for a second time, suspending updates to The Best of CNBC Sucks to become a more efficient and prolific blogger (use the search box and Archives on the right sidebar), and making a ton of recent posts, I am on semi-hiatus. Between now and the election, I will only make crappy, half-hearted posts and tend to comments. I am boycotting most media that this past Sunday morning appeared desperate to make a race out of what should be a Barack Obama landslide. I am even staying away from Huffington Post, because it can be extremely hard to comment spam there at times. I still find The Big Picture very useful, but commenting there can be habit-forming. I need to be more oblivious to the world like Joe Six Pack (J6P). The Dow closed yesterday at 9,955.50, its first close below 10,000 since October 29, 2004. I maintain that the Dow will find itself around 5,000 sometime in the 2010s if McCain wins, but who knows - and I do not particularly care - where precisely the market will go between now and Election Day. I just pray for an Obama victory. And oh, I should mention Brad Hanson.]
[UPDATE, March 6, 2009: At 5:00 PM, we are at 209,435 page views and counting. Today, the Dow Jones Industrial Average reached an intraday, 12-year-low of 6,469.95, closing at 6,626.94. Exactly nine months ago, on June 6, 2008, in my first post on CNBC Sucks, I wrote "Dow of 5000 / 6000 through much of the the 2010s". On that day, the False Prophet Index closed at 12,209.81. It is not yet 2010, I may have been right too soon, but I think I will be right and I will ultimately be right about $300-per-barrel oil too. However, I can now officially start worrying about being overly pessimistic. I do not know for sure where we go from here - it will likely get worse before it gets better - but I do not want to miss out on any good opportunities ahead. You finally got an election right, America. Now, you need to do it again 15 more times.]
[UPDATE, June 19, 2009: At 2:00 PM, we are at 294,075 page views and counting. The Dow has bounced back up to 8,531.42. Through its own brand of massive reflationary policies, the Obama administration appears to have bought itself a jobless recovery. Page views are down here and at Ritholtz's. The outrage over CNBC has dissipated to lameness; CNBC itself has become a dull version of annoying. I no longer need to exert self-control to avoid watching CNBC. The drama of last autumn's economic meltdown is over; I have my own guesses about what new drama lurks ahead for us, but will not share here. The Great CNBC Sucks lives, but he no longer writes on this blog. I have become more neutral and objective about Barack Obama, even disillusioned and cynical, but America still needs Democratic leadership over the next thirty sixty years. VOTE DEMOCRATIC! Still, none of us can rely on America getting future elections right, so I better concentrate on my own business. It has been a blast and a learning experience. I have written many goodbyes, but my final words on this blog will always be BIG TITTY PRODUCTION!]
[UPDATE, JULY 12, 2009: I lied. At 7 PM, we are at 314,079 page views and counting. The Rubicon was crossed today. Bye bye.]
[EPILOGUE, SEPTEMBER 17, 2009: I lied again. I have three more repurposed posts, here, here, and here. Thanks to Missy Francis, at 2 PM, we are at 422,042 page views and counting. This is my final update to this post. I plan to write new posts quarterly - specifically, at the end of each quarter, beginning with yearend 2009 - certainly no distraction for me and probably enough to keep this blog alive. CNBC Sucks averaged 27,480 page views per month over its first 15 months of existence; at that rate, it should reach one million page views by July 2011, although no one can predict the future. Through life and fantasy football, I have learned that I have developed the capacity to achieve serenity with things over which I have no control. I have also recognized that - come to think of it - CNBC Sucks is really just the personal blog of The Great CNBC Sucks, because I no longer watch CNBC nor do I write much about CNBC anymore. It's really not bad to generate 27,480 page views per month with your personal blog. Thanks, CNBC, but I declare victory anyway.]