Ahhh, racial hatred. It rears its ugly head every so often in America and is the flutter of a butterfly’s wings that can alter the political and geopolitical course of an entire planet. Everytime black people act repugnantly, somebody becomes a Republican.
I have never liked the Williams sisters, Venus and Serena. In fact, I dislike them, both of them, a lot. Disliking the Williams sisters is anathema among politically correct circles in places like Flushing Meadows, New York, but let’s face it: The Williams sisters and the entire Williams family make it easy to dislike black people. It’s not about them being black either. I mean, seriously: If Tyra Banks were bouncing around with her 36D milk wagons on a tennis court, would The Great CNBC Sucks dislike her? Of course not. I don’t like the Williams sisters because they are arrogant, annoying, and I don’t like looking at them. Venus is OK, but she is not exactly Venus, and Serena…well, sure she has big breasts, but she also has arms that remind me of former Tampa Bay Buccaneers linebacking great Derrick Brooks. In fact, at about the same height, strength, and athleticism as Brooks, I am fairly sure Serena Williams can play weakside linebacker in a Tampa Cover 2 scheme.
I am also fairly sure I am not alone in my opinion.
So when Serena Williams foot-faulted and went off in a massive, foul-mouthed, and threatening tirade against a tiny line umpire on her way out of the US Open last night, you had to figure there were people watching who were thinking “well, maybe this national healthcare reform thing isn’t such a good idea” or “hmmm, you know we had a relatively cool summer, we don’t really need to do anything about climate change, do we?” or even “Serena Williams is black, Barack Obama is black, I don’t like Serena Williams so I don’t like Barack Obama”. When Williams goes to her post-match press conference and remains unrepentant and unapologetic for her ugly behavior in her trademark spacy way, you had to figure someone was thinking “come to think of it, maybe I like that Rush Limbaugh after all”. Ridiculous, you say? Well, that’s because you are an overly optimistic liberal elitist who is out-of-touch with human nature. People make illogical, irrational, even moronic associations all the time. Sometimes, they make these associations consciously and immediately — Serena Williams is black, healthcare reform helps black people, I don’t like healthcare reform because I don’t like Serena Williams – and sometimes they make them subconsciously, only to bubble up later at an inopportune time, like in a voting booth. Whenever a black athlete acts like an ass, Republicans win votes. Trust me on this: Serena Williams took Joe Wilson off the hook.
Never mind Serena Williams. Below are photos of US Open finalist Hottey Non-Flattey Caroline Wozniacki and somebody named Tamira Paszek, who has big breasts. The Great CNBC Sucks will be back. I will just keep you guessing when. Give me lots of page views.
Note: This post was formerly entitled “Vote for Barack Obama” and was originally published on June 20, 2008. I had written: “I am done for a while. I have tons of work to do. I think I am doing all that I can to balance out the disinformation, propaganda, and clueless bullshit that CNBC spews out that can be dangerous to our country. The solution to our problems this time is simple, the differences between the two candidates are so stark. Please vote for Barack Obama, or read the issues more diligently before November.” There was an embedded YouTube video of Obama’s “Country I Love” Presidential campaign TV ad that is now private but can be found here.