In a demonstration of his rapid mastery over America’s modern #1 sports distraction, fantasy football (FF), The Great CNBC Sucks qualified last night for the playoffs of The Fuck You Blog FF League with a 100.90 – 67.18 victory over Obviously Too Busy to Play FF. (The names of all competitors, including aliases, in The Fuck You Blog FF League will be altered on the CNBC Sucks blog to protect the innocent and the not-so-innocent, just because I like you guys so much. And I do mean guys.) Despite never having played FF before, starting off with the #8 pick (out of 10) in the draft, losing the first two games of the season by a combined 108.60 points, and being annoyed all season long by a veritable All-Star Team of 2009 NFL Disappointments including Matt Forte, Marion Barber, Steve Smith, Greg Olsen, and Jason Elam, the persistent and pugnacious Mr. Sucks (or just Sucks, or The Great One, or CNBCS, or “Mr. Fuck You” to the widely respected financial commentator Barry Ritholtz) out-traded (participating in 9 of the league’s 17 trades) and out-noised a league of smart, experienced FF players to claw his way out of an 0 – 2 hole to an 8 – 6 record, third place in the regular season, and a Week 15 Semi-Final Match-Up against The Minnesota Kid this weekend. In addition to his playoff accomplishment, The Great CNBC Sucks recorded the only regular-season victory — a 106.76 – 92.46 win in Week 11 — over The Laveranues Coles Project, the league’s dominant team at 13 – 1 and the prohibitive favorite to take The Fuck You Championship.
Although he has two games remaining in the playoffs, The Great CNBC Sucks took a cue from both George H.W. Bush (that would be the father) and George W. Bush (that was the last guy) and declared “mission accomplished” as he achieved his primary and only objective of making the playoffs in his first and only season of fantasy football. Effective at the end of this season, The Great CNBC Sucks is retired as an active participant in America’s modern #1 sports distraction, fantasy football.
More on my season of FF if and when I ever get around to it…I had wanted to write “Top Ten Lessons About Life That I Learned From Fantasy Football”, but I do not have the energy for it. Enjoy what you got, always.
cnbcs-
hey dude- I see you got BR to visit- you are somebody- lol (see- i’ve already added the lol- so offense- ok?)- here’s an emoticon to make sure (-:
Who cares about Ritholtz? I got you to visit.
also- since you are quite the grammarian- that is “so NO offense”-
just making sure you weren’t confused- lol (see another lol- no offense) and an emoticon (-:
No confusion, ahab. By the way, I thought the comment I had written that Bergsten posted on the Sigma Nu blog tonight was too heavy for its thread on the Ritholtz blog, so I decided not to post and sent it to him by email instead. I meant what I wrote, but I did not know he would post such a heavy comment on Andy’s.
lastly- re Susan Sarandon- cleavage yes- but the problem w/ older women- once you get their bra off- their tits hit the floor- trust me- i know this first hand- quite the turn off- but alright if they are lying down or even on all fours- but not standing by any means-
feel free to delete this little observation
OMG, ahab, that is FUNNY. Let’s put it this way: pictorially, or for the purpose of this blog, it does not matter. But I DEFINITELY see your point and defer to your experience. Also, if you want to have kids with a woman, yes it definitely matters!
and just so I’m clear- not all older women- just the ones with large breasts- gravity wins that battle every time as a woman gets older- great when they’re young- but . . .have to take the good with the bad (-: