Barack Windu

[UPDATE, October 17, 2008: The images on this page seem to come up at the top whenever anyone Googles "adrienne barbeau"; see the last photo below.  Imagine that; I published this page originally on August 6th.  Well, my Brothers in Adrienne Barbeau Admiration, welcome to CNBC Sucks.  I know you were searching for content on Adrienne Barbeau so let me talk about that.  But before I do so, I hope that all of you will vote for Barack Obama.  I know, I know, I never expected that I would vote for, much less invest a huge amount of time to support, a black dude with a Muslim sounding name for President.  Look, guys, I remain a registered Republican.  I just love this country and I do not want a McCain-Palin administration to run this country into the ground when it is most vulnerable.  Now, if John McCain had just selected Adrienne Barbeau as his running mate, I might have been neutralized (not really, I hated McCain even in 2000 when he ran against my candidate, Dubya).  Anyway, I think Barack Obama will be a truly great President, and I will leave it at that here.  So, twenty odd years pass and you guys still cannot get over Adrienne Barbeau, huh?  I understand.  Everytime some TV network runs "Escape from New York" in high definition, I still watch the middle parts to catch an HD rendering of Barbeau's deep, sweaty cleavage.  This woman had the rack of the century.  She was perfect, those huge breasts were perfect.  I will use my vaunted bra size estimate expertise and say 36D, fully realized.  When I was a kid, I used to tune in to "Maude" reruns just to catch glimpses of Adrienne Barbeau.  I do not think she was on many episodes, so I was often stuck watching Bea Arthur, who was the exact opposite of Barbeau on feminine attractiveness.  I also loved Adrienne Barbeau on "The Fog" and "Swamp Thing", and even in small roles such as on "Creepshow" and "Back to School".  Yeah, I remember her nude bathing scene in "Swamp Thing", but it was way, way too short.  What else do I have to say for now?  Oh, here: Did you know that Adrienne Barbeau's mom is Armenian?  Do you know that Armenia borders Iran?  Now, McCain likes to sing "Bomb Iran", but can you imagine all the beautiful, big busted goddesses like Adrienne Barbeau that must live in that Middle Eastern region?  There are some hot, busty Iranians, I have to tell you.  I say, let us vote for Barack Obama, talk to Ahmadinejad, maybe rebuild US-Iranian relations, and see if we can import a few more young Adrienne Barbeau types into this great nation.

Because we just cannot get enough of Adrienne Barbeau.]

[This page was formerly entitled "Barack Obama plus content on BOOBIES, BREASTESES, BABALOOS", but I needed space on the menu bar, so I changed the title to just BOOBIES.  Quit whining -- there are Armenian boobies at the bottom.]

I decided to mix my boobage content with my Barack Obama advocacy campaign because my peeps just love breasts.  To my environmentalist and feminist comrades in arms (I don’t hold grudges with women, Jessica Valenti), you will just have to forgive me.  I am a former Republican and I use any means necessary to help my cause win.  I may be a progressive now, but I am no idealist, and as a progressive, I want progress.  To my breast lover visitors, keep reading, soak in the Obama brainwashing, read it over and over, and I will give you some titty content treats at the bottom of the page.  Just call me Dr. Pavlov, friends.

I felt bad this evening because that son of a bitch John McCain’s ceaseless negative campaign – and so early in the general election campaign – was wearing me down, enough to go perhaps over the top in the update here.  I don’t know how many times I have to say this guy is totally unfit to be President.  John McCain is the greatest national security threat ever faced by the United States.  We beat the British, the Germans, the Japanese, the Russians, and we seem to have terrorism under control (God willing and knock on wood), but a President McCain could destroy this country without external forces.  OK, OK, I am going down that path again.  Just remember that John McCain finished in the bottom 1% of his Naval Academy class.  Anyway, McCain was wearing me down, some people were saying the polls were tightening (although my own data shows Barack Obama ahead 87% – 13%), and I was getting frustrated that all of this was happening while Barack Obama was bypassing Hillary Clinton for Tim Kaine as his running mate and candidate for Vice President.  I don’t want to hear Joe Scarborough making fun of Kaine’s hair through November 4 and then the next eight years if Obama-Kaine wins.  Then, there was the news of Obama changing his tune on offshore drilling, and I worried about criticisms of flip-flopping.

Then I got some fresh air, and I remembered why I thought Barack Obama would win this Presidential election.  Barack Obama is not only a clearly superior candidate to John McCain, but he is head and shoulders the superior politician.  Superior candidates don’t win Presidential elections; superior politicians do.  Despite any criticisms being lobbed now at the Democrats for being not aggressive and not responding to McCain’s nasty barbs in kind (like suggesting that John McCain is a traitor, anti-American, homosexual, and Muslim), Barack Obama will beat John McCain in November because he is the superior politician.  This kid Obama is a freaking political prodigy.  In spite of whatever effectiveness John McCain’s negative campaign may have now with stupid, uneducated, uninformed, racist Americans, I think there is an advanced political calculus that Obama is working which escapes much of the media’s comprehension that will prove itself out ultimately in November.  Sometimes, the shadow of doubt approaches me, but the moment I see him on TV, I feel reassured that Barack Obama knows what he is doing and he has things under control.

I read that McCain challenged Obama to a lightsaber duel (or light saber, lightsabre, and light sabre to you search engines) tonight.  I hope that would happen, because Barack Obama Windu (above) would pull a “Count Dooku” on McCain’s ass.  If there were a midichlorian count (check out this dude’s meticulous list of Star Wars characters and their midichlorian counts; it still cracks me up everytime I think of it because of all the effort the guy put in) for politics, Barack Obama would be off the scale at 34,400, topping even Darth Vader (I mean Anakin Skywalker, not Dick Cheney) at 27,700.  John McCain thinks he is Darth Sidious / Palpatine material when in actuality, he is probably more like an Ewok.  Remember, McCain is a loser who can’t keep an A4 Skyhawk in the air.  Do you really think a Sith lord would allow himself to be taken prisoner of war or give away state secrets to his captors?

What made me think of Barack Obama’s superior political abilities and all that Star Wars nonsense?  Obama’s move on offshore drilling was brilliant and elegant politically.  Barack Obama is going to be criticized no matter what he does.  He will be criticized for flip flopping, he will be criticized for being popular overseas, he will be criticized for being a celebrity, he will be criticized for being like Moses.  (Some of this will start to backfire on McCain, I think, because a lot of Americans like Moses, and Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, for that matter.)  But what Barack Obama has done so deftly and effortlessly with offshore drilling is remove the last substantive policy bullet that John McCain had.  Did Obama change his position?  No, he opened the door to compromise.  Some compromise.  With the concessions that Barack Obama is suggesting, there will be NO offshore drilling EVER in this country.  I have already written, ”Even if Congress were to acquiesce and remove all restrictions on domestic offshore drilling, you will still not see a significant increase in investment in oil exploration by the major oil companies.”  That is because the oil companies and the Republicans want unprecedented, extraordinarily high levels of government subsidies for domestic oil exploration, which they need to drill on the outer continental shelf.  Now, instead of offering oil subsidies, Obama will agree to offshore drilling if the oil companies agree to a windfall profits tax to fund a $1,000 energy rebate (and possibly more) for consumers.  That will never happen; the oil companies, through their Republican surrogates, will never agree.  Obama recognized that the debate has never been about the ban on offshore drilling, it is about manipulating political perceptions and money.  Instead of being cornered politically and intellectually by the Republicans on a potentially crucial issue among the common electorate, as the guys at Grist (including yours truly) lamented, Barack Obama made offshore drilling a non-issue for the Democrats, just as he made foreign policy inexperience a non-issue with his recent overseas trip and softness on national security a non-issue with his compromise on FISA.  I was trying to circulate some fact-based arguments up the Democratic Party totem pole to counter the Republican misinformation campaign on offshore drilling, but that is no longer needed with Obama’s master stroke.  Now, all John McCain has is his negative campaign advertising; he can’t look or speak as impressively as Barack Obama and he has no advantage left anywhere anymore on issues (he never did with informed voters).

And now, as promised, I give you some busty, boobalicious, tittirific content, in the form of photos of a young Adrienne Barbeau.  What does she have to do with Barack Obama or CNBC?  Nothing.  I need to go to sleep, so I won’t come up with any amusing commentary, other than to ask: Can you imagine what it would be like to date a chick like this?  I can assure you that you would be a very happy man.

Adrienne Barbeau 1

Adrienne Barbeau 2

Adrienne Barbeau 3

The Search for Adrienne Barbeau

63 years old and still yummy