[UPDATE, September 18, 2008: I am getting some significant traffic due to Gawker's kind words today. With some exception, I normally have to make up my own reviews (see lower right sidebar), just like how Larry Kudlow concocts 2 trillion barrels of imaginary oil in the United States to fool Americans into supporting John McCain and the Republicans' "Drill Baby Drill" drivel. Anyway, new peeps, welcome to CNBC Sucks. This page is really not my best; it is a half-hearted and half-assed version of a CNBC Babe Gallery, just a ploy to generate page views, since I am a page view whore. You can find more photos of CNBC babes elsewhere, although I must say, this page (see comment #2 below) contains the only admission anywhere by anyone that he masturbates to CNBC. Amazing. Judging by what people read on my blog (over and over, it seems, like maniacs), to get you properly initiated, may I suggest that you start off with how Becky Quick is the hottest flat-chested chick of all time, or the revelation that Erin Burnett takes a shower at the CNBC studio each day at noon, or relive that glorious week before July 4th, when Amanda Drury filled in on a bad hair day for Becky Quick.]
[UPDATE, October 4, 2008: Sorry to hear about the bad news at Gawker. I really appreciate your compliment.]
Bloomberg Rules
CNBC Sucks
I stared at Becky Jarvis and my steam pipe exploded too.
Can she cum here to do live shot coverage?
michelle caruso`s juggs rule tho
ranked. I’ve thought about this for a few years so this list holds a lot of weight personally. comment and number of time I’ve, you know, to each one (I know the numbers don’t match up-do as I say not as I do).
1. Margaret (a bitch-makes her hotter). 13.
2. Michelle (incredible body and smart). 12.
3. Erin (yes 12 year old boy body but hottest by far). 28.
4. Trish (should be or appears to be hotter than she actually is-weird). 8.
5 Rebecca J. (too micky mouse, too skinny). 1.
6. Melissa F. (her eyes are creepy). 4.
7. Becky (yes, hot that early in the morning, but over-rated in general). 14.
And you men wonder why good looking women take advantage of your inability to think straight in our presence — how would you like your blood, sweat, and tears (i.e., the 12 hours/day you put into your career) reduced to your looks at every turn?? Imagine working your ASS off only to never be taken seriously…
Just realize that so long as you continue to determine a woman’s value based on her appearance, you can expect to be evaluated according to your net worth…better get back to work
oh, mother.
Team Melissa Lee.
Ohhhhhhhhhhh……….I forgot about Rebecca Jarvis. Is she on the poll? I have to go back and look. She might be the hottest chick on CNBC. She definitely gives Trish a run. Erin does look much better after a shower. Frankly, I don’t like her new ‘do.
Michelle CC is a pig. I don’t understand infatuations with her chest. She looks a pig and acts a pig and is about as intelligent as a pig. By the way, pigs are pretty smart so I wouldn’t rank her in Maria Bartiromo land. Maria is a dunce. To hear MCC babble on during this crisis has been enough to make me mute the TV even more than I usually do. Trish, Margaret and Rebecca remain classy on screen compared to the sailor’s swilling of MCC.
Btw, I saw Melissa was on Kudlow today. Tight sweater, no jacket. Size B cup IMO.
Erin Burnett demonstrates that makeup has different effect on different women. In her case, the positive effect is dramatic. I do not know anything about makeup, so I do not know how it works so well for Burnett. But somehow, I still process that there is still an unkempt, greasy skinned, borderline attractive woman underneath all that. In the case of Dishy Trishy Regan, however, I bet she might look even more attractive with a little less makeup, although I doubt CNBC would allow that. I used to think completely different things about Trish, but now I imagine her as a very smart cutie with big boobs and a nice big ass who is super sweet and nice.
Someone talked up MCC yesterday (http://cnbcsucks.wordpress.com/cnbc-bra-sizes/#comment-730), but I cannot get into her, even if I try. Just the fact that she has three names pisses me off; she only deserves two. When I watch MCC, I cannot help but think that she herself knows she is not particularly attractive or smart, and her best offering is her chest. By the way, did you notice the chunky arms on MCC?
I just realized this is an older post. As you can prolly tell I use Google to get here and entered on this page. Thought it was an update. I will say in the past few weeks you have moved from number two to number one in the Google search results for CNBC sucks. I’ll take some claim for that. You can buy me a beer the next time I make it to NY. And, maybe we can go down to CNBC and ask to take a shower with Erin. I’d gladly defer to you if I could take one with Trish or Rebecca.
I just saw the remarks today about MCC re your link. She is simply nauseating to me. I can’t dig women with a personality of George Bush. Poster Kevin is a little fucked up.
And, yes I have noticed those arms. I’d propose an arm wrestling match between Sue and MCC. Or, if we really wanted to humiliate Joe “I’m a lazy fucking cretin” Kernan, we could have him arm wrestle MCC.
MCC’s arms are not TV or lunch friendly, that’s for sure. It has finally occurred to me that MCC either has a disproportionate amount of arm fat, or she wears one hell of a girdle.
I will not allow you to insult without response Joe Kernen, or I should say, Genius Joe Kernen (http://cnbcsucks.wordpress.com/2008/10/10/the-fuckface-with-the-gop-id-tag-blames-market-downturn-on-obama/). I hypothesize that given the miniscule percentage of brain activity that the MIT-educated microbiologist Kernen expends masquerading as America’s Clueless Everyman on Squawk Box, he must be working on nuclear fusion or a cure for cancer, or both, in his spare time. We all just might be surprised when Kernen is awarded the Nobel Prize for Physics and Medicine in the same year, not to mention canonization as Saint Genius Joe Kernen by the Vatican.
LOL. Well, MCC surely wears one hell of a tight girdle. But, there’s some serious french fry fat hanging from those arms as well. The oozing, dripping kind.
So you hypothesize Kernen is working on something big eh? I think he’s too fucking lazy. My theory is that he has been in such a mindless job for so long that his once large brain has atrophied and hardened into something about the size of a pea. You know, similar to Bartiromo. I bet if you shook his head, you could hear it moving around in there. Didn’t I read somewhere on here where MCC was a geologist or something? Maybe there are rocks in Kernen’s head. Could she find out for us? And, do it on air? I have a rock hammer if she knows what to do with it.
I actually called MCC “the busty bimbo non-geologist” beginning with my very first post. That it would fuzzily register in your head that she might be a geologist is a testament to search engine optimization and power of suggestion psychological techniques. That is why I have taken great lengths NEVER to write “John McCain is a homosexual”, “John McCain gave away our secrets to the Vietnamese”, and “John McCain will start World War III” because those ideas are over the top, and we strive for the highest standards of reason, fairness, and balance on this blog.
Ahh… I’m glad my source of learning is word association from your blog. Subliminal messages abound. Much like the bullshit that modern finance and globalization are what built this country.
I’m glad that your standards are so high. That’s one reason why I now frequent your blog.
Blog
Michelle CC is a hag and a whench. Every time someone tries to have a conversation with ANYONE she gets exasperated instantly and starts with the eyeroll-whatta-ya-mean routine. Layla Kaylee has a set of headlights, unfortunately she’s to dumb to be on CNBC and resides over at G4.
*Latest Awards for Special People*
Caurso Cabrito Cabrera, recently nominated for the International Mata-Hari Attitude and Look-a-Like Award! Currently holds the “Hands down WORST ass and legs on CNBC Award, and also U.S. National Champion in the category for Worst legs AND Ass of the Free World for women under 250lbs, and is currently up for a Lifetime Achievement Award for most disgusting Female body in Black Clothing. And, for Caruso Cabrito Cabrera a nomination for, “There will NEVER Be a pretty girls face in MY CoMPACT Mirror.”
Squawk box is worst show ever on TV. It is totally useless show. I wonder how Becky looks without makeup.
I like Erin,nice brain,looks
I like Mandy,needs to bone up a little on finance,coming a long way
from economic news reader!!
I like Maria,has a noggin on Her!!
Becky is sweet!!
Thank You Ladies for the stock news,
it has helped Me amass a few bucks the
last 18 months
Pete
erin burnett is the counsil of foreign relations butt slut. She gets to take home a few hors d’ouevres from the parties after licking the pants lint from all the old men’s wrinkled balls.
She’s a deranged little pig-faced bitch that one.
Pete Daniel has no clue
Erin Burnett is a idiot! she still does not understand how the market opens.
Mandy has great tits but that is about it.
Maria is an idiot. What is up with her saying “see you manana” I mean “do you know where your money is was bad enough but this one is just insulting. Plus she is such a goldigger after sh left her husband when he fell on hard times.
Becky is not bad but a little creepy her relationship with Buffet.
If you listen to these women about stocks then you have been lucky so far but they have no idea what they are talking about. Most of them are Goldman Sachs flunkees.