CNBC BoObsession
Yeah, I like to make you click, click, click. I am a page view whore, you see. So I don’t mind making static page after static page of marginal content today, as long as you don’t mind clicking static page after static page of marginal content. For whatever reason, you people seem to click the buttons at the top – the static pages - as opposed to the dynamic links on the right sidebar that contain frankly a tastier batch of my blogging genius. Yes, sure, some of my static page content, such as Real-Time CNBC Classics and CNBC Bra Sizes, are inspired revelations of brilliance and wit, but some are clearly more half-hearted. This static page belongs in the second category.
Today, on Feministing, I defended breasts…boobs, hooters, funbags, you know the rest. You can find the breast debate here. Why do I make such a big deal of breasts? Why do I go out of my way to defend breasts in the most hardcore feminist community on the Internet? I don’t do it for me. I do it for you, my peeps, my rabid and adoring fans. Because YOU love breasts. How do I know? I know everything, I am omniprescient. I know the Dow will sink to 5,000 and oil prices will rise to $300 per barrel (it has sunk from $147 to $123 in a bit more than a week) sometime in the 2010s. And I just know you love breasts. Plus, I look at your Web searches like today’s (below), you perverts.
[UPDATE, July 31, 2008: As you may know, Jessica Valenti revoked my license to comment on Feministing. But I continue to fight for feminist causes with every impression of Barack Obama's face on your brains. I won't say anything more about my all-too-short affair with Feministing, because I know better than to raise a fuss with a woman. And yet, today, this blog was graced by three searches for "michelle caruso cabrera breast size", two for "michelle caruso-cabrera 34d", and one each for "erin burnett bra shot", "margaret brennan tits", and "maria bartoromo's bra size". The people have spoken and they want to know this important financial markets information. They need this information, sometimes over and over. Let's give it to them, and maybe, just maybe they will have the sense to vote for THE ONLY CHOICE, BARACK OBAMA. Every vote counts, breast lovers, and if you want to enjoy peace, prosperity, and wonderful, healthy American breasts envied by the rest of the world, you will VOTE STRAIGHT DEMOCRATIC TICKETS FOR THE NEXT TWENTY YEARS.]
CNBC BoObsession
